Deep thoughts...

Only 3 days (counting today) left at UNCITRAL. I'm incredibly sad. I've really enjoyed my time here. The people are wonderful, the experience has been incomparable - I must say this has been one of the best experiences I have ever had. I feel like I've learned so much and finally - after a long time of my brain being distracted by other useless junk - I'm soaking things up like a sponge. Sometimes that is a little scary because I wonder if I will ever learn everything I want to learn about, but I'm sure everything will come with time. I guess if I could have one wish for my future, it would be that I remain an avid learner and never stop questing for more. I've decided that's OK - I don't have to waste my life mired in mindless entertainment. I have decided that the quest to know more about the world and what makes it spin is just fine...it's part of who I am. And I like me that way. Thus...deep thoughts by Rebecca White.

Not to mention, I'm leaving with 2 very nice letters of recommendation - one from the Secretariat at UNCITRAL and one from the Judge. How nice is that for me?

I'm pretty excited - Sara and her brother get here on Sunday morning! It's always fun to have people come and see you when you're 1,000s of miles away from home. Plus, I get to introduce 2 more people to travel abroad. I'll be certain to take oodles of pictures and post them. It's sure to be fun. I'm going to drag them to SEVERAL Christmas markets and stuff them full of pünsch...mmmmm. Yummy. Ooh! And those yummy hot little donuts at the Rathaus. Even more yummy!

Smash! Bang! Boom!

So, I've become quite attached to my little paper - it's finally starting to take shape and ideas are leaping into my head like salmon going upstream at mating season (how's that for an interesting visual.) Sometimes, I just let it flow. It's ranging even further and further from diplomatic however - in fact, I'm starting to wonder about the serious allegations I'm making. It's pretty crazy - but I admit I feel strongly about it. Its a topic I've become quite attached to and the thematic basis of the paper has evolved into an interesting portrayal of trade relations, science and the law.

Now...if only it were stellar enough to get it published. I don't know - some of it is pretty harsh. When you accuse countries of ethical violations and stemming the achievements of the Millennium Development goals by using their economic clout to influence decisions of foreign governments (and I am not talking about the United States, dear reader - I am talking about other larger international bodies that shall remain nameless - we are NOT the only ones. So get over the superiority complex. You know who you are.) people sometimes get angry. That might not be good for my career. Or it could be GREAT for my career. Who knows.

Adorable Christmas Market...

Tonight Lindsey called and convinced me to take a break from the frantic writing of the paper and go see the Christmas market in front of the Rathaus in the Inter Stadt. It was really pretty! We made away with the mug from this year and from last year. We've decided to go to every Christmas market in the city up until I leave. Try the punch in every market. I took a few PICTURES - it was really glitzy and pretty.

Today I realized that my departure from the United Nations is imminent - next Friday is my last day, in fact. It makes me a bit sad - I really have enjoyed my time there. Everyone is great. They have been attempting to convince me to come and work here - but I am frankly concerned that I might have a problem getting a post. There is a very limited number of spots and they are even more difficult to come by now that they have the new mobility requirements. I missed the deadline to register for the P2 exam anyhow. We'll see - I'll apply and see what happens. They are really an amazing group and I feel privileged to have had the opportunity to work with them. I keep thinking I've learned more in the 3 months I've spent at UNCITRAL than I learn in a year of law school classes. It has exceeded all my expectations. I'm sad to be going.

Gluttony - Just another Sin?

Oh my word - I am SO full!!! It's insanity! I went and had Thanksgiving dinner at the UN. It was SO good, but I am SO full. I feel like a walrus...pretty sure this is what a walrus would feel like being thrust up onto land. I took some PICTURES - which are lovely. I'm just so full. I hardly ate anything all day in preparation for the mass stuffing - it was insanity. You know - I am fairly certain I have actually gained weight in Austria. I lost about 8 kilograms while I was backpacking, and I'm certain it's allllllllll back. My clothes fit, but they don't feel right and I look at my face in pictures & it just LOOKS rounder. Oh well - I ate myself silly tonight because I may never get to celebrate Thanksgiving at the United Nations in Vienna ever again. It was really fun and I'm glad I went.

Unnnnnggggghhhhh...hippopotamus.

I woke up this morning...

...feeling like maybe I just wanted to run away from the world for just one day. Some days I get irritated having to deal with people and their drama. I just want to be let alone to do my thing. Most of the time, I am kind and goodnatured because I want to be and sometimes...I just want to let it rip. I want to stop trying to make things nice for people and stop being tactful and just let it all out. Let everyone know how I really feel. But...I don't. I keep my mouth shut. What good is it really going to do at the end of the day to make other people feel bad?

Today I wore jeans to work. Somewhat indicative of my frame of mind as I have worn a suit every other day. There really doesn't seem to be anything resembling a dress code for interns at the UN - people seem to pretty much wear whatever they want. There are those of us in the "we wear suits" department and the rest that wear jeans, sweaters, whatever. I am protesting, however. Guys don't know how good they have it - they can wear trousers, a collared shirts and dress shoes and be dressed up. Women, not so much. And today I really just felt like wearing a sensible shoe. I wanted a shoe that I could really walk in for once. Incidentally - the next guy who tries to argue with me and tell me that all their dress shoes aren't that comfortable is going to be sentenced to wear a 3" heel for a week.

Sociological Ponderings

I’m currently reading Richard Sennett’s Culture of the New Capitalism (which has been terribly enlightening – for some reason it is as if I suddenly understand my experiences at my former employer. Talk about epiphany!) and today it has me thinking about consumption. What we have, why we have it, why we want it. Most of all – is our consumption of goods intended to make up for something that we perceive that we lack? For example the person that drives the big SUV for no apparent reason or always has to have the next big amazing thing. Why? Why do we perceive that we need these things? I’m wondering how much the consumption of goods is intended to supplement a sense of self. Since we lack a sense of definition in a more transient society, we are seeking definition of self through the purchase of goods. The idea being that we are defined by what we have and certain assumptions are made by others if they see that we have X, Y, or Z. We then become SOMEONE to the observer, never really stopping to consider that the person that is observing us is drawing conclusions that are solely on appearances, and thus anyone – given the money and time – could cultivate an image that is entirely false.

I’ve often thought along these lines, outside the concept of actual consumption but in a sociological sense as well as in a personal sense. What do people see when they see me and is the image carefully cultivated? Is it an adequate depiction of self, or does it fall flat? More than likely the latter. In an abstract sense, I seem to always relate it more to people that take things to the extreme – teenagers that succumb to a certain look in hopes of making a statement or fitting in, women who never fail to dress at the height of style even if it is way too young/old for them, men who drive expensive sports cars. What is everyone trying to say? What does this say about them? I think it is directly correlated to identity more so than the actual enjoyment of the thing. There is no doubt that many people glean genuine enjoyment from some of these things – I love to drive, thus I get a great deal of pleasure out of a good car. Perhaps the same can be said for the man that drives the fancy sports car, but are we the rule or the exception?

Back from a lovely weekend

I just arrived back from visiting Marci and Sandra in Brno in the Czech Republic, their home town. I had such a nice weekend! On Saturday I hung out with Sandra and her husband Joseph at their place and in the evening they took me to the movies. I haven't been to a current movie in a LONG time, it was great! We saw "The Heartbreak Kid" with Ben Stiller. I found it especially amusing because there were parts of the movie that it was apparent that I was the only American in the room - some of the jokes don't quite translate into Czech very well. I was laughing like an idiot...the only one laughing like an idiot. I was a big gap-jawed at the fact that they have some amenities that I have since come to consider as American-esque. Such as grocery stores that are open 24 hours a day and shopping malls open until 9:00 at night (it would seem that in most parts of Europe, things close down by 7 or 7:30). It was rather nice to come out of the movie at 10:00 and be able to pop in for a few things that we needed for the next day.

Today Sandra passed me off to Marci and we went all around the old town looking at the cathedral and the castle - I took a bunch of PICTURES of our ambling about town. I met Marci's boyfriend, Michael and her mother. I thought they were both so fun!! It was really a great weekend. I'm glad I went. Another country that I've visited to add to the list.

Oh Shenandoah

So, sometimes I miss stuff from home. Just because it is what is familiar. I’ve decided that it’s not because it’s overtly American or anything else, it’s just what I am familiar with and enjoy.

Things I currently miss about home:
My bed
Target!
Driving a car…sniff! Miss the vroom, vroom!
Big cups of coffee.
Pancakes at Perkins.
Leah, Sara and Mathea.
The ready availability of quality vegetables at supermarkets.
Restaurants with vegetarian options on the menu that aren’t pasta, pasta, pasta.
TiVo
The dollar actually being worth a dollar. (Yes, this is certainly American, but merely has to do with money being money. Sigh…stupid subprime mortgage crap! Rargh!)

I love being abroad. I love getting to meet all these amazing people, see amazing places. I mean – come on!!! This weekend I’m taking the train to Brno in the Czech Republic to see my friends and do some shopping there. Not exactly like jetting over to Albertville – I am going to visit yet another country! My life is not this exciting back in the States. But there are a few things that make it comforting. I still say give me 2 weeks and I’ll be ready to be back in Europe again, though.

1 month to go and counting

So, exactly 1 month from today I will turn 30. I am still looking forward to taking on my 30s - I think that, for the most part, they will be a good decade in my life. Hopefully I'll sort out my career related freak outs in time to enjoy building a career insted of worrying about building a career (a far less attractive option.) I was chatting with Nancy this morning and she offered some words of wisdom - try not to freak out about it until you have to. Which seem to be good words to live by. I know that I can realistically live on my savings and live well for 6 months, even up to 10 months if I pick up some other work like doing more research for Carl or slinging coffee at Starbucks...maybe both. So, I'm OK. I've got some time to figure this all out. Who knows? Maybe I'll be shot by the arrow of the cool jobs fairy and something choice will land in my lap fairly quickly. One never knows.

I registered for classes last night. I was sorely tempted to take easy-peasy slacker classes and have an easy semester, but I relented and took a bar class instead. I'm certain that I'll appreciate it in July when I at least have a handle on the vocabulary when I'm studying for the bar. The lucky winners are (drumroll please!):
1. Advanced dispute resolution
2. Income tax
3. Business Agency (and friends)
It's 10 credits. I am in class a good chunk of the day on Mondays (8:30 to 1:50), Wednesdays I have class from 8:30 to 10:20 in the morning and then this huuuuuuuuuuuge gap until I have class from 6:30 to 7:20 in the evening. Thursdays I have class from 6:30 to 8:20. That's it. No class Tuesdays, no class Fridays and most of my day is open on Thursday. I think that the strangest thing for me will be going to class during the day. My entire law school career I've gone at night. I'm totally a morning person, so it will be interesting to see what it's like having an 8:30 AM class when I'm at my best, instead of an 8:30 PM class when I'm at my worst. The other curious thing will be day students. Already a bit leery of that situation, but I'm cool. I'm cool I say.

I have decided one thing for my 30s. Starting to think of aging and how to keep going as long as I can, I am going to make my birthday resolutions (I think New Year's resolutions are so played, at least birthday resolutions are a gift to yourself and mean more). I'm going back to being a vegetarian and I'm going to get back to working out every day like I was doing before law school started and my life was stood on its head and shaken. These seem to be good, healthy goals that will help get me through the next decade hopefully in better health than the last decade. I'm on a mission to make my 30s better than my 20s.

Sometimes I get really scared

Sometimes I am really terrified of graduation. Why? Because I quit my job to come over here and do what I'm doing (which has been great, don't get me wrong) but my last job hunting experience after undergrad was less than stellar. I get freaked out thinking about going through this process all over again. I'm worried that I'm going to just start throwing spitballs at the wall again and try to see what will stick. I'll settle for the first offer I get even if it isn't right because I don't know what else to do. I feel like I don't even know how to go about finding a job. I want to write my own hire-me ad. It will read like this:

Intelligent, driven soon-to be law school graduate seeks
opportunity in major multinational corporation.
Prior employment includes 5 years contract management
for major insurance company. Undergraduate degree
in Agronomy makes this candidate a great fit for any
agricultural company! Wants to travel, facilitate
international trade and protect intellectual property
rights abroad. Currently interning with the United
Nations Commission on International Trade Law with
a focus on enforcement of foreign arbitral awards.

Heck! If employers get to write ads, why can't I? I should take out a full page ad in the Star Tribune. Why not? It makes no sense. It feels like all the cards are in the deck of the employer. People say "well, you're interviewing them too." Sure, but I also know that I need to find a job. Fortunately, I have savings enough to get me through 6 months. After that, well, who knows. I get so crazed when people tell me that I'm so talented and with all my experience and my education with the internship on top of all of it, I have nothing to worry about. That isn't how I feel. I feel adrift. It seems like an enormous task. Will I ever find something that really fits? I feel woefully unqualified, which really is contrasted with the way that all the younger people I go to school with feel. They figure hey, I have a law degree...what else could you possibly want? Um? Experience? Skills? Something to offer. I do think that I have a lot to offer, but I don't even know how to go about finding the right job and the person that I need to talk to about it. ACK!

I just want Cargill to call me and tell me that they would love to come have me - what with my undergrad in agronomy, my experience with contracts and law degree - travel around the world facilitating their international trade transactions and contracts while protecting intellectual property rights for them in those countries at the same time. And I want them to pay me $90,000+ to do it. Is that really so much to ask?!

Perhaps I should just focus on finishing my paper and registering for next semester's classes. Freaking out about this really won't do me any good, now will it?

The First Vienna Snow!!!

This morning is snowed! Big, chunky snowflakes. I was curled up on my couch plowing through a bunch of stuff for my paper, looked outside, and everything was white with these big snowflakes coming down. Of course I had to run right out and take a bunch of PICTURES - not a moment too soon...it's already disintegrating and the snow is changing to rain. It was sleeting on my way back. There were all these kids out bundled up making snowmen. It was so great. Here's a small selection, you can go to my Picasa Web to see the rest. So pretty!!!

Mom's on her way!

Yesterday Mom & I went out and saw the Hofburg. I have to say, I was not terribly impressed. Maybe if it was the only palace you had seen, it would be a good start. It had a lot more history than the others did what with the Sisi museum and all, but it fell flat compared to Schonbrunn, Versailles, all that good stuff. Nevertheless, we saw it. I think Mom enjoyed it. Last night we just hung out and I made spaghetti for dinner. This morning I took her to the airport. She should be on the plane by now. I hope she enjoyed her trip...it was fun to be the first one to show her Europe and where I've been living. We crammed a lot into a week - I think she tried every traditional "Austrian" food and drink that they have to offer. It sucked a little because I had a cold most of the time she was here, so I felt like my head was full of stuffing. Ironically, I really started feeling better yesterday. Oh well.

Well, this is what we call "reality check day." I have to buckle down now and work on my paper. I am getting 3 credits for this research, I have to put in enough work to justify the credits. The research is done, but I need to start plowing through the first draft so that I can get it edited either before Sara & her brother get here December 2nd or while they're in Dublin. I register on Monday (I have to keep track of the time - I register at 12:45 CST, which is 19:45 here) - it will be so strange to get back to classes. Even more strange because my history with school hasn't been just as a student, it's been as a part time working student. This will be an interesting experience - 10 credits & no work? What will I do with all this time? Study for the bar or something?!?!

Hooray for new cars!!

My Aunt Patti sent me an email - they found my car!!! They found a 2001 Saab 9-5 with sunroof, heated leather seats, the works. I'm stoked! AND since the mileage is a little over 100K, the price is about $2000 less than I had budgeted. It's so darn cute! I can't wait to get back to the States and drive it. In the words of my Uncle Ralph, it runs like a scared rabbit. I'm so excited and tickled!!! For anyone who might be shopping - they own Forest Hollow Auto Sales in Utica, NY. (That's my shout out! Thank you guys!!)

Another Day in Vienna

Whew! It was quite the cold, wet day in Vienna, but Mom & I packed it full. Today we:

1. Went to the Spanish Riding School & saw the morning exercises with music (the pictures were taken quite clandestinely - photography is verboten.) It was so pretty!!! I was so excited to see them practice.
2. Had lunch at Demel's and Mom tried Sachertorte for the first time.
3. I went to Tiffany's and bought myself my 30th birthday present for myself a wee bit early. I bought a traditional heart tag bracelet.
4. Went to the Kunsthistorisches Museum and saw the Titian exhibit.
5. Went and had Hungarian gulash
6. Bought Mom her first gelato - nothing like a healthy dinner to wrap up a full day.

We took a few PICTURES (including the verboten Riding School pictures!! Such a rebel!)

I feel a bit guilty because I feel like I'm being a poo - I'm so tired because I have an icky cold. I'm hoping to kick it. It came at a pretty bad time. Tomorrow we're going to the UN and out to that Mexican restaurant that I went to with the Orantes family. Friday we're going to tour the Hofburg palace.

Weird things stuck in my head.

Mom & I went out to Schonbrunn and toured the palace today. Afterwards we went to the Albertina. It's so weird because I've had part of this poem stuck in my head all day:

When new desires had conquer'd thee
And changed the object of thy will,
It had been lethargy in me,
Not constancy, to love thee still.
Yea, it had been a sin to go
And prostitute affection so:
Since we are taught no prayers to say
To such as must to others pray.

--Sir Robert Ayton

Won't get out of my head.

Mom's 2nd day

Mom and I went to the Vienna Boy's Choir this morning. It was really beautiful, complimented with my skepticism on religion. We met a lovely woman from Canada and went for coffee and soup with her after the mass. Then we took a long walk around the Ringstrasse and looked at all the pretty fall leaves. It ended up beinga beautiful day here. Tonight Mom & I are going to the local Austrian restaurant for Wienerschnitzel und Pommes Frites. We're having fun!!! I'm so glad that the weather has stayed nice thus far for her visit.

Mom's Here!!!

Mom is here! Yesterday she arrived and we went around the Inter Stadt and had coffee and apfelstrudel at the Cafe Centrale. Today we went and I treated her to a carriage ride (PICTURES) around Vienna as her birthday gift, albeit a week late. Then we went over to the Naschtmarkt and bought falafel, ciabatta bread, hummus, stuffed olives and more strudel for dinner. Mom made her first Vienna purchase - a pretty red scarf. We're having a great time! Tomorrow morning we're off to see the Vienna Boy's Choir at the Hofburgkappelle.

We gonna run this...

Is the role of the lawyer in the United States losing the status of professionalism?

Lately I have been taking some heat about legal education in the United States. I think that a lot of people agree that we have a remarkable legal education system, but those that I have engaged in conversations with from other countries that have alternate systems seem to have an inferiority complex. All things considered, however, I decided to do some looking into the legal profession in my own country - hoping to understand by looking in as well as out. I ran across a book in the library about lawyers, legal education and common law countries. The discussion about the American legal education system is interesting. Its basic premise is that the purpose of professions is exclusionary - an academic elite that excludes the masses of average persons to create a highly specialized and trained group of people. It discusses the history and growth of legal education in the United States and it's divergence from a profession that used to have few people that even completed high school - forget college - to struggle towards the elitism that surrounds the legal profession in other countries. As predicted, it professes, the American system resulted in a profession that brings in a ton of money, but that has had a choppy development, not possessing even formal legal education until the latter part of the 19th century. It also talks about how the ABA and other academic institutions have forced the part time student out in favor of the full time student - making it even more of an elitist institution simply on the basis of funding, which has little to do with academic prowess.

I find it interesting that the assertion is made that the concept of the American lawyer as a professional is dwindling. The book alludes to the idea that since now the market is so flooded with lawyers, it's no longer a profession. It's rapidly becoming...what? I can see how this would be meritorious. In 1995, the ABA estimated that there were about 895,000 lawyers practicing. Currently they think that there are about a million. Rounding the population of the United States to 300 million, that means that .33% of the population are lawyers. Not 3%, not even 1% - that is .33%. It does seem to me that there are a LOT of lawyers, but I "run with that pack." I meet these people every day. I'm conscious of their presence because it's my life. In comparison, doctors - per the WHO - numbered 730,801 in 1995 - a scant 165,000 less than lawyers. Are there too many doctors? I can't say, but I do know that I think the perception of the legal community is blown out of proportion.

Let's face it - there is nothing that you do in your life that law doesn't touch. You don't make your morning coffee without the law having touched it a hundred times - from the trade laws, the laws covering workers at every stage of the game (from the truck driver, to the shippers, to the field workers and the people that bag it and then the ones that sell it to you at the grocery store or what have you), the sales laws governing your purchase, the laws governing the store itself (including tort law if you slip and fall on their floors to how long eggs can sit on the shelf). Never mind the laws governing the trucks on the road, road laws, the laws governing the electricity as well as the supply running into your house to your coffee maker, and the coffee maker itself. You get the idea, I don't think I need to go on. Are there are lot of lawyers? Yes. Are they needed? I'd say so. But are we losing "street cred" as a profession? I think that is for us to determine. Set higher standards for ourselves. Bring back the cool in being an academic. It's an interesting question.