Back in MN

It is so STRANGE being back here. I pulled into town late last night, nearly collapsed into bed. Today I'm back and doing all these things that should seem extraordinarily normal - going to Target, driving around Minneapolis, seeing Leah - but it all seems so strange. Like I'm walking through everything in a cloud. My room looks like an H-bomb went off. I've pretty much just brought everything in from the car and dumped it in the middle of the floor. I look around the room and it still seems pretty full of my STUFF - so the idea of find places for the rest of the STUFF seems overwhelming.

I've been a busy bee today. I took Leah to work, registered the car & put the plates on (after much cussing and being generally mad at the car - the previous owner took the screws for the license plates so I had to dig through Matt's stash to find some that would work), joined Bally's and went to the grocery store. I'm picking Leah up at 4:30 to go to the mall.

It's just so strange to be back here doing all the things that were normal before. Vienna and all my travels still seem like a lovely, lovely dream. I want my whole life to feel the way these past 7 months did. As if I lead a perfectly charmed life. As if nothing can touch me and only good things seem to happen. For the most part, that would be absolutely true. All of the amazing things that happened by far outweighed the few pesky things. It's all so far away now. I don't know how to preserve myself. I sometimes think I have changed so fundamentally that I can never really be back here in my head 100%, then on the other hand I could see myself sliding back in as if I never left. It's so strange.

At any rate, I'm back. Now the task is to find some way to spend the rest of my days. Oy!