Birthday Hi-jinks and other stories

I haven't disappeared off the face of the planet, I've just been running around trying to see everyone and wrap things up before I leave. I had a simply wonderful birthday. About 10 people came over and we all went down to Kaktus in the Bermuda Triangle area of Vienna. There are some fun PICTURES. I really must say that it was a fitting 30th birthday - I don't think I've had that much fun on my birthday in a long time. Marci and Sandra brought me a birthday cake all the way from the Czech Republic which was amazing. Everyone went out with us. I felt so loved. It was great.

Yesterday I went out to the UN one last time and said goodbye to people that I know. I'm actually very sad to be leaving. I felt a sense of global community there. Everyone seems to be working toward a common purpose and seeing all the different countries working alongside one another gives me a shred of hope. Last night I had dinner and coffee with Karin and Michael and really enjoyed the conversation and the company. I think that is the worst part of leaving - I feel like I've created a niche for myself here after all this time and now I'm leaving it. I have made good friends that I want to be near and spend time with. I was talking to Latetia and Giccamo about that yesterday. It's true that all good things must eventually come to an end - we have to enjoy things as they come. However that doesn't stop me from feeling sad about it.

Tomorrow morning I'm off to the airport - I have a 0715 flight to Paris and then a 1430 to Newark. It's going to be strange going home. I think that day after tomorrow I'll be waking up at my parents house in New York and I wonder how this went by so fast. On Tuesday I'm going to visit my high school...I have a schedule. How strange is that? I'm just curious.

OK - back to finishing up the last things I haven't done on my paper. I'm nearly packed and the gang is coming over at 1330 to help me finish this giant cake.

Saying goodby to my 20s...

So today is the last day of my 20s. How crazy is that?

I'm not worried about turning 30. As I've noted before - I think that in my 30s I can finally feel like I can act my age. I've never felt young. My 40s might be tough...depending on where I am in the process of my life. But 30 seems like a good age. I spent so much of my 20s trying to figure life out. What I'm supposed to be doing, how to do it. I feel like I'm closer to figuring out my life now. Although 30 might prompt another existential crisis.

Speaking of crisis, I've resolved the kafuffle that I had with my airline tickets. Did I report in? I don't think so - I had conflict with Air France at the airport on Sunday because they failed to issue my ticket and thus my flight was canceled. They made me pay 100 Euro and put me on a Saturday flight to Paris, meaning I'd have to stay in Paris that night. I wasn't OK with the cost, the hotel, and having to leave Saturday instead of Sunday. So I spoke to Air India, and they talked to Air France who then refunded my money and arranged me to be on an Austrian Air flight on Sunday morning at 7:15 AM. I will have a longer layover in Paris, but that's fine. I just didn't want to incur the cost of a hotel there as well. The Sheraton that is attached to the airport there may be the epitome of convenient, but it's 155 Euro/night. Now I have to sort out how to get to the airport at 5AM, but worst case, I can just take a taxi.

The idea of going home is exciting and foreign at the same time. I love being out in the "world." It's been so wonderful. I want to go home to see people, but I'm going to really miss the feeling of going. My hopes still rest in finding a job that allows me to travel. As much as possible, please. I'm still waiting on the resume service to send back the initial draft.

Oh sad...

I've talked to Leah a couple of times this weekend and it makes me miss her SO much. It makes me really sad. She posted some new PICTURES of Anders - he's getting BIG. **Sniff** She called me to tell me that I'm now officially the dean of Anders' art and cultural education - which cracks me up. I guess Matt said something to the effect of "Shouldn't we be playing Mozart for him or something?" and they (meaning Matt, Leah, Anders and all 3 cats) voted and decided I was officially in charge of that.

Isn't he cute?

Sometimes I get sad...

Thinking about getting a job makes me sad. I know I'm smart and capable, but I don't think that's adequately reflected in my grades. And coming out of law school - that seems to be all anyone cares about. Your grades in law school. It doesn't seem to matter that I worked a REALLY stressful job while I was doing it. I feel smarter than my grades reflect. And it's curious that my entire future may be determined on these grades. Lets face it - what I do right out of law school may determine my future. It will at least set the tone. And I worry about this constantly. I am quantified and reduced to a GPA and a class rank. I want to excel in life - when I don't, I feel somehow worthless. This aspect drags me down and makes me scared. It makes me wonder if I did the wrong thing by trying to work in law school - if my time with my former company will continue to play a determinative role in my future, simply because I tried to do too much a once. How long with that haunt me? I am interested to see how I do this semester - and that interest really is purely clinical because I'll be looking for a job while I'm in the thick of it - because I'm not working and going to school. Just going to classes.

Today I'm worried. I'm worried about my future. Everyone assumes I'm so smart - maybe, maybe not - but it's not reflected in my GPA and that worries me. Why? As I said, in the race for a job in the legal field you are reduced to a set of quantifiable factors - GPA, class rank, age, the tier of the law school you attended. I know that in at least 3 of the 4 I'm not the creme de la creme. I'm just me. If you take me out of the numbers, I'm curious - I have an interesting job history. I've spent the past 9 months abroad and worked with some of the greatest minds in the legal field. I'm continuing to go with that. I've spent time interning with the United Nations - a privilege that is extended to few. I guess it comes down to the employer - if their focus is my numbers, I'm going to be disqualified. If, instead, they focus on everything else...I might stand a chance.

Skeletons

Just when you think you've laid everything to rest, things crop up in your head like volunteer corn in a soybean field (I'm not crazy, I'm an agronomist - well, partially anyway). For some reason the BJJ/AHN debacle is on my mind tonight.

I hate that. I'm so much cooler now. I'm like ice, baby.

In happier news, Nancy and I went to that Christmas market out at the castle today. It was great (regrettably I forgot my camera...whoopsie) and on the way back we stopped and stuffed ourselves silly on roast duck and topfenknodel at a gausthaus. It was really wonderful and I bought some neat little things to take home from the market.

Once upon a time...

Sometimes I read one of these articles that I'm using for my long paper (today: Genetically modified crops: environmental and human health concerns) and I feel like I've abandoned my love of science for the field of law. I wonder if I did the right thing or if I would have been happier getting a PhD in genetics or biochem or something. What would I have done with it? I would have been confined to some lab the rest of my life, or teaching. I know science is like anything else - the love of music, art or whatever - you can always have it. You can always pursue it. But I didn't dedicate my life to it. And sometimes I miss that. Science is quantifiable in a way that law often feels vague and ephemeral. They say that there is a "right" answer in the law, but I disagree - too much of law huddles in the gray area in between. Science is dogged in its pursuit of the right answer.

Somebody's been slackin'...

And it's me!

To be fair, I've really been quite busy. Since last we spoke, I've hung out with friends at a half dozen Christmas Markets, invited them all over for dinner, picked up Sara and Ryan (PICTURES) at the airport and showed them around then assured that they made it BACK to the airport for their flight to Dublin for the remainder of the week. Frankly, I've been swamped! Not to mention I've been a busy little bee trying to finish my paper before the clock strikes 12...ugh. I love my paper, and I'm still pretty devoted to the topic, but it is frankly the process of actually DOING something about it that is so ugh-ness-inducing.

It's difficult to believe that my time at the UN is over and now I'm heading down the home stretch. For awhile there, I thought that it was the ONLY thing that I wanted...to go home. Now that the reality is that I am going home, it's difficult to fathom the thought of actually going. I've been really happy here - I've enjoyed my time in Vienna and have been fortunate to make some amazing friends here. I love this city and feel like it is a second home to me. I think I will always have a special place in my heart for this city. It's by far my favorite city that I've ever been to. The fact that I've lived here and there are parts of the city that have become my own may have a lot to do with that, however the fact remains that this is truly my favorite city to date.

So, as mentioned, Sara and her brother are here. I was a drill sergeant with them on Sunday because it was jet-lag day. I kept them out running around the city and seeing markets until about 8:30 in the evening, when I finally took them home and let them go to bed. Poor guys. Yesterday they slept until 11:30, so by the time we were out the door it was 1:30, so we really just did lunch and grocery shopping, then the gang came over for dinner. Today was another late start as they were finalizing their packing and such so we went out at about 1:30 again. We ended up doing some shopping instead. I bought a few doo-dads at H&M, then finally found my new coat that I've been longing to buy on SALE at Peek & Cloppenberg. It was nice because I was able to shop tax free and will get the VAT back when I leave Vienna...provided I can resist wearing my new coat for another 10 days. My new jacket is a Fuchs & Schmitt - grey with the big buttons that I like and flap pockets with a belt-esque attachment that buckles in the back. I took a couple of pictures:





I do really love the coat. I meant to get one but all the ones I had seen either didn't fit properly or were way more than I wanted to spend right now on a coat. So this was the perfect find. I originally was searching for red, but in the end I'm glad I got the gray - it is better suited to my wardrobe as a whole.

Now I'm simply rambling about nothing. I'll be sure to update as updates come along. I'm really just putting my nose to the grindstone and working on my paper over the next few days while Sara and Ryan are in Dublin. Nothing really thrilling or worthy of report.