Up early worrying

This morning I'm up early worrying. Honestly, I try not to buy into the whole "if you don't have perfect grades, you may as well forget ever finding a job." That is a horrible thing to believe. That your grades define you and all your future success. I still find that I haven't mastered the law school exam. I'm way too INTJ - I am a very logical thinker, but it's not linear. And I find that I have to mull things over a bit before I come to the correct answer - eliminating any additional possibilities that I see using facts I have available to me. The problem is...law school exams are not conducive to this type of thinking. It's "give me a well articulated & correct answer on this convoluted problem...oh - and do it in 3 hours or less." Hunh?!?!? So I typically end up with B's - I have a couple C's where I just didn't hit it that day, and a couple of A's (hear the angels singing?). But my GPA is certainly not in that top 25% range that is allegedly so desirable.

I really want to believe that I will be OK. I want to believe that between my work experience, volunteer work, involvement on campus, and UN Internship (hooray!) that I will be sufficiently attractive to be gainfully employed. Well...perhaps I should qualify that...gainfully employed & making enough money to both pay my student loans and live on. There is just so much doubt. The law school environment makes it difficult to keep faith in yourself & what you are capable of. Literally the career services office tells me that my past successes in my career is irrelevant because I'm starting a new career now. (Which let me tell you what, makes it even more difficult to get through each day at the office.)

I just can't believe that I am that "worthless." I can't believe it. But there are moments of immobilizing fear. The law school environment engenders the panic. Right now a lot of my friends are getting ready to graduate and there is all sorts of panic. It seems that all companies and firms care only about the top grads...the rest of us are going to rot.