Mortality & the end of things

My eye makes me think about mortality. Why? Because knowing that now something has happened that I didn't CAUSE to happen that will be with me for the rest of my life & may impair my functioning a bit. Not much, but a bit. And it makes me think about my future. When I was 19 - I was going to a community college in NY, living with my parents, and working at the Fashion Bug. It never crossed my mind that at 29 I would have worked for Farmers, finished school in South Dakota and be nearing the end of law school. OH, and be planning to leave the country for 8 months. It makes me think about how you will never be able to truly predict the things that will happen - either made to happen by you or events that happen to you - and where you will be. What will I be doing at 39? What will the world look like? Who will be the people in my life? At 49? At 59? It's a big thought. Some days I think that there are not enough days left in my life to do everything that I want to do, and some days my life stretches out in front of me and I wonder where each moment is going to go. It's weird.

So today is my last Friday at Farmers. Monday is my last day. The desk is cleaned out, I'm ready to go. That's the end of it. so now what?