What am I DOING???

Leah & I had a big conversation today about how weird this year has been. This time last year, she & I were both getting ready to move into this house, she was preparing for her wedding. Now she is 23 weeks pregnant & I am leaving the country. I never even speculated on the IDEA of what I am about to do. Where an I going to be in April next year? It really does just go to show how much can happen in one year. I'm learning never to underestimate the amount of collective change that can occur in 1 small year. I think the next 2 years are going to be crazy. Why 2? Well - there is the wildness that is this year and what is coming up (no one can say what is going to happen while I'm in Europe or who I'll meet, what I'll do); then I'll graduate from law school, sit for the bar & I'll be looking for a job. Then who knows where I'll end up. I'm anxious to move again - the Gypsy in me is crying for an out. 7 years in 1 spot would seem to be more than the wanderlust in me can handle. I think I either want to (1) move to the east coast (Boston or DC) & travel a BUNCH for whatever job I do; or (2) move overseas. But who knows. What happens between now & graduation next May could affect those choices a LOT.

I wouldn't have it any other way though.

Last night Leah had a jewelry party at the house & it was 6 women chatting about babies, childbirth & their husbands...I wanted to scream & run out. I am so glad I am single right now. I am so glad I have made so many of the choices that I have - I am glad that my hand was forced a number of times to the point where I am free to go and find what it is that I am supposed to be doing in this world. I am so grateful that I have made choices where I am not tied to anyone that would try to stop me from doing what it is that I am about to do. No one & nothing is here to discourage me. I am free to go. That I have done for myself & I am so glad I have. The idea of not being able to go & do because I had a child scares me. I guess I never need to be afraid of that again.